Last night, the Queen addressed the nation with a highly emotive and historic speech. She was moving in her details yet brilliantly reassuring. It was an inspiring message that we all needed to hear: we can only get through this together.
As she concluded, I reached out to touch my husband’s hand in a silent show of solidarity and my eyes brimmed with tears. It’s quite easy to feel safe when you are at home with the people you love, a fridge full of food and drink, and Netflix to watch. But life is never going to be the same for any of us.
Today we should have been on our way to Manchester airport to travel to America tomorrow. With my job being so time consuming during term time, and my husband being self-employed and always in work mode, we try to book trips for as many of the school holidays as possible. I know we are fortunate enough to be able to see different parts of the world, but we also do it to ensure that our downtime with our children and each other is distraction free. When at home, it is far too easy to get the laptop back out or make another phone call. At least when we are away, we are able to have quality uninterrupted time together.
Yet, here we are at home for our third week together and we’re already craving the outside world. I’ve been thinking about why this is and I’ve realised it’s because we miss our friends and family. We build our lives surrounded by relatives and companions. We choose people that we enjoy spending time with, people who we can’t go a day or a week without speaking to or visiting and we miss them.
Some of our best friends live only a street away, and while we’re lucky to be able to use technology to stay in touch, it doesn’t replace human contact. When we first went into lock down, we walked our dog past their house and stopped to say hello. We remained outside by their perimeter wall and maintained a good distance while we chatted. On leaving, my youngest child (age 3) ran towards my friend to hug goodbye and we both yelled for her to stop. It was such a surreal moment as we frantically demanded a child to stay away from the adults she has known and loved since birth and she was understandably distressed.
Fast forward to the third week of lock down and I had my own emotional encounter. My mam is a healthcare assistant at a local hospital and continues to work. We have not seen her in person since the schools closed and she lives alone. She is also asthmatic and it has flared up recently which is causing me great concern as it makes her even more vulnerable to this awful virus. But, she loves her job and clearly feels that she is fulfilling a duty to her elderly patients and keeps declaring that she is ‘fit to work’. But I am terrified that we are going to lose her. Every time she finishes a night shift, she texts me to let me know she is home and then she rings me when she wakes up so I know she is okay. Because she lives alone, it breaks my heart that when she goes home, she has no one to hug at a time she needs one the most. Yesterday, I made a roast dinner and decided to deliver her some. I know she won’t be cooking anything more than basic meals, so for the first time in two weeks, I drove my car to her house (only four mins away) to deliver this meal. I had intended on leaving it in her garage but it was locked, so while wearing gloves, I unlocked the door of her bungalow with the intention of leaving it in the hallway. But the noise must have startled her as she suddenly appeared, our eyes met and I choked back my tears and fought the urge to put my arms around her. Instead, I hastily dropped the dinner, mouthed ‘I love you’ and left. I don’t believe in God, but I hope and pray to something greater than us that she will be okay.
Then I think of my sister who is due her first baby at the end of May. This should be the most exciting time of her life, instead she is a bundle of anxiety and uncertainty. We’re already preparing for not being able to meet the baby for a while or be there to support her through the most exciting yet frightening time of her life. The thought of it hurts a lot as we’re all so excited and we’re so very close, but we remind ourselves that my sister and her partner and their baby are all healthy and safe at home. It is vital that we look for the positive in all of this.
While there have been days where I have struggled with our current situation, I am reminded of what we have to look forward to once this is over. Travel might be too expensive to enjoy as frequently as we did, but being able to visit our loved ones will be priceless.
“We will meet again.”
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